I can still remember my farewell night, clear as a pole star in the dark sky of night.
School Auditorium was decorated with big Golden curtains for the batch of 1980. Silver stars hung low from the ceiling between the white cotton clouds. Colored lights glowing around the main dance floor giving a feel of a dreamy world.
This was our final goodbye to school before we go out in the real world. Mom and Dad were so much proud of their darling daughter, to have completed high school with flying colors and finally pursuing the family dream of studying law in one of the best universities. Not every girl or boy in my family was able to live up to this heavy expectation. But I had done it but instead of rejoicing that , I now sat in that Glittering Hall wondering how hard it is going to part from that one special person.
Party was in its full flow. Rumpelstiltskin was dancing with Sleeping Beauty, Pinocchio with Red Riding hood, and Romeo with Cinderella and Peter Pan... He was right there just now, talking with all the pretty girls from the far away land, while I sat next to the window in my Aerial costume. He looked so cute in that frizzy hair and green crepe dress. Thanks to the "Once Upon a Time" theme farewell party or else I would have never seen him in his skirt.
I chuckled within.
Even with that stupid costume he looked so handsome and just like Peter Pan, his charm had left no girl unaffected. Of course, he has to be popular with that combination of his humor and Dare evil spirit.
But how can I be so foolish, so stupid to ever fall in love with such a person! Not that I don't like him. I mean we have been friends since.......... Ever. I have seen his every highs and his lows. The times when he has acted really crazy and stupid and have known his major crisis in life.His blunders, his heart aches, his affairs everything.
And even after knowing him for so long, Knowing that we two can not be any more different person then what we are right now, I still fell for him. In ten years of our friend ship and relation we have never agreed on anything. Be it best all time movie, best ice cream flavor or even our favorite basketball teams. If he is north I'm south and yet we were together for 10 years.
I had given up on my quest to find the reason behind my head over heels love for him and accepted the fact long back. Because I think love never made any sense. Like it made no sense as to why the hell Romeo was so interested in Juliet who was still kiddo enough to play "Dead". Or why Othello trusted others opinion about his lover, against his better judgment. I mean if you use your god given, even fair amount of common sense, then none of these tragedies would have happened.
But I guess mind cannot logic when you are in love. And that is my analysis of our relationship.
"So what is my little mermaid doing alone?" I turned around to look at the familiar voice which shook me out of my thoughts .Peter Pan was standing at the back window, in typical his signature pose.
"When did u get there?" I asked surprised.
"Hello, I am Peter pan ,I can fly ...Remember" he said with the wink as his eyes twinkled like magic.And suddenly I remembered how I became so stupid to fall in love with him.
"Oh ya, I forgot ! " His contagious smile spread across my lips too .
"You want to fly out with me in the sky?" he held his hand out for me.
Yes he could make me fly .He can sweep me off the floor with one look from his dark brown eyes and I can be up in that sky with him.
"Where you were up until now "I placed my hand into his as we jumped out of the window into the garden like good old days.
"Right here, But you had kept windows closed .How can peter pan enter if windows are closed? Duh "He said proudly smiling at the cleverness of his response.
We went to the swings and sat opposite on one of them. This has been our place since we played in the kinder garden together, where we would swing looking at the sky of night, as stars swing with us. Music from the auditorium filled in the air lightly. Warm Breeze caressed my cheeks as we swinged opposite to each other
"So you are sure?" He spoke looking at the dark of the sky while swinging past me.
"As sure as I can be. What about you. Are you sure?" I tilted my head slightly to look at him.
He did not speak. He did not need to. I knew he was sure and I hated him for being so sure, so ambitious. Ironically this was the only common thing in us. We both were sure and we both were ambitious.
"Law is not that good of a career choice you know "he spoke looking at the sky impassively.
"Says the person whose parents are lawyers?" I knew what he was doing. Trying to convince me out of my career choice and join me in his school or architect.
"You are good in Design, then why law and not Architect?" He tried the logical front for the convincing.
"You are good in arguments, then why Architect and not Law?" I gave him his own reasoning, but this time, he was not amused. His eyes clouded with sadness as he halted and looked at me. My heart melted. We both knew how we would miss each other when we go out to different colleges.
I placed my hand on his "we can be in touch, we can meet whenever we want. can't we?." I asked hoping against hope.
"You know it, right?" He got up and came in front of me.
"Know what?" I looked at him quizzically.
"That you look cute when you talk Dumb" he gave that smile again as he caressed my cheeks lightly. I should have looked away before it was impossible to break that magical glare. As if those eyes were doing black magic on me, convincing me to fly off to his world.
Oh, how I would miss his presence, his stupid jokes, his stubborn attitude, his adventurous spirit.
I remember how timid I was before we became friends and how boring I felt at school. He came like a Prince in my life and breathed life into me.He has always been there for me, be it as a friend or as a lover. He has filled my life with so many moments,so many kisses, so many fights. I'm not sure if anyone can fill that gap ever.
He took my hand into his as he slid his fingers inside the mine. Do you feel every touch as warm when you are in love or it was just him? I often had wondered this.
"What do you think we should do? " He asked me.
His clueless eyes seeking answers from me, but I was not the right one to answer. I had always been the logical one between the two of us and he has always hated my voice of reason. But right now reality was clear to him as well as to me.
"I think we should move on " I said thinking of ways to make him feel better after this fact sink into him.
Because we may have had our share of break up and have decided to move on like million times, in move on part1, part2....and on and on. But we both know this time we are right on the edge.
" You are killing me " He said as he looked down at his knees. I could feel the pain in his eyes as it welled up. We were killing each other.
"It's going to be difficult, but this has to be done, now or later" I cursed myself for speaking out the truth.
"Do you even know what you are saying? We have filled each other's life with so much memory .This void can't be filled by anyone. We will always be alone without each other" his eyes were moist.
Oh God, I love him so much.
I circled his neck with my arms "We are two very different people from the very different world. Peter Pan, You are meant to fly, and I Aerial, the mermaid is meant to swim. I cannot fly away with you and you can swim with me in the ocean. We know what we are best at and we should go for it" I spoke, and could not believe justifying my own breakup.
He looked at me " You were always the gutsy one. Always knew how to say the truth. How will I ever find anyone like you?" frustration filled his face with furrows and suddenly in next moment, he stepped forward with a determination in his eyes.
"We can get engaged. We can convince our parents. It's not like we are getting married. Just engaged. What do you say?" his eyes glittered with innocence. He knew it was totally ridiculous getting engaged when we two are so career oriented. He was in deep love
" You know that our family don't go along well. And getting engaged won't make either of us quit our ambitions" I stood firmly on the point even as tears threaten to burst out.
"Then let's get married now, We can figure out how to meet during our vacations and all " he suddenly bent down on one knee holding a grass ring
" Will you take me as your husband and be my wife" he looked up at me holding my hand.
Oh, how I will miss this spontaneous stupid person.
"You know it, right?" I said with my voice heavy
"Know what?" He looked up at me confused
"That you look damn cute when you act Dumb" I smiled with tears in my eyes as I bend down and hugged him tight.
"I still hope that our worlds meet in some parallel universe, my beautiful Mermaid, "he said kissing me one last time. I wished I could be there forever. I wished time just stopped tonight and I could fly away with my peter pan.
"I'll keep the windows open "I whispered under my breath as we broke out from our kiss. He took my hand and we walked back to dance floor. We danced all night, we laughed all night, before the day could come and my peter pan would fly away in his world.
When the time came we moved on to our different colleges with the hope to meet again in vacations. But destiny had its own plans. His family moved to different City. We stayed in touch for the longest time through letters and mails until our world totally occupied us. We eventually and finally moved on as we got married to different people and had kids of our own.
Life said "nothing personal "and flowed on with its own speed. I have no regrets nor complain. Maybe we were not meant to be together. I'm just glad that he once came into my world.
And If I were to be more honest with myself ,I just can't deny the fact that many more "Peter Pan" came into my life and swept me off my feet into their magical world. I'm happy to be married to one such person.
Whenever I felt too practical person sans any emotion, I would think about him and how he drove me crazy in love .The wonder of love is that, it will hit you so hard that you will wonder why you even had doubts about yourself being an emotional fool.
Life will move on, no matter how hard it seems to you. It's in its nature. Choose your way in life and if destiny has it in store, who knows , Peter Pan may learn to swim and Aerial learn to fly !
Take chances and always ... always keep windows of the heart open.